Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
