Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
