Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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