I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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