i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't deserve a penis
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
