"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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