i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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