Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
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I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
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You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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