I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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