Say something about gay babies.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
