i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
