Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
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They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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