eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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