I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
