yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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