After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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