dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
