You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
