i don't plan on having that self control this summer
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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