Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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