Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize