I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
