Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
