Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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