oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Are my feet made of real feet?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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