My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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