i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
