I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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