Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
