Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
