You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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