She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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