I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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