I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
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You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
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The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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