Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
