i think my mom watched the whole time
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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