i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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