do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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