absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize