she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
