Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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