So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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