Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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