we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize