if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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