i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
