using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize