sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
