garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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