and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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