and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
