drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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