Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
