i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
