the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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